No one jokes
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.