Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says "your getting laid tonight" She replies "what are you some sort of psychic" He says "No i'm just stronger than you".
why is orphan so scared of the dark they don't have a dad to check the closet,
Jesus walks in to a motel throws 3 nails on the counter and says can you put me up for a night
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Home Covid Test.
1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.
Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.
I am so nervous.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room, then my T.V. started to float out the window. I said "drop it nig-"
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” No sun.
If all your clothes where stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do you say when you see your tv floating away at night... "Drop it Jamal"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping.
Father: Sorry
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint...my....house.’
The little camel asks his mother: Mum why do we have these big humps? Because in these hump there is some water and in the hot desert we can drink. And mum. Why do we have this large fur? Because the dessert at night is so cold and then we don’t feel cold. And mum. Why do we got these big hoofs. Because the desert the sand is hot and the hoofs save us from the hot sand. But mum. What the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?
