Yo mama so fat i stood next to her and lost cell phone reception
one time the quite kid hacked the speakers in a school next thing you know it pumped up kicks by Foster The People starts playing
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said Chinese food, so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said Indian, so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
Little Johnny walked on into to his house.He heard a banging sound from up above and decied to investigate.He opened the door to his parents room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door.He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
Next time at walmart I'm going to scan my wrist they are basically barcodes
A man is consoling his nine year old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted,
"You need to be more careful" he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
My son asked me how i'm so clean,"inside out.". I told him because of bleach. the next day I found him drinking the bleach.
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’
what do you call a baby in an oven? my next meal
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago but ahe didnt tell me what it was........anyways im turning 14 next month.
My Relatives Always Teased Me During Weddings saying " You'll Be Next " But they Stopped when I did the same to them during Funerals
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
I told my mother i wanted a brother for Christmas The next day i saw her in the strip club across the street
Someone at school judged my grammar. I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
The Women saw a Cute lookin cop she Had pulled up right Next to him and said “Hey can i get your number” He said yea it’s “911”. And drove of
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?” Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Causes by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration* The teacher faints
By:Xzavier
When the school shooters finally leaves your class room but then the autistic kid next you sketchers light up
A priest is drowning in a river... A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says "leave me alone, god will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said "leave me alone, god will save me. " The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that god will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked god "why didn't you save me. " God said "I sent you three f*****ing boats and you didn't take them! "
