My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over and he is going to sleep over so I was happy. The next day I ask my mom wheres the dog at my mom ask me what dog. Then I said to my mom I heard Paul said do you want it doggy and you said yeah.
Jeffy- Daddy Daddy a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat
Marvin-I don’t believe that
Jeffy- but he said “Jeffy I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat”
The next morning
Jeffy- Daddy a monster pooped in your hat
*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*
Marvin- Jeffy I don’t believe you you popped in my hat
were gonna have to kill
no good jack and jill
they’re draining the economy doooown!
they’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill jack’s seed
they’ve ruined our wonderful town!
were gonna have to kill
nno good jack and jill
they have no moralityyyy
they’re spreading degeneracy
we aint what we used to be
we’ve got to kill ol no good jack and jill!
jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana
they went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers
next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years
we’re gonna have to kill
nno good jack and jill!
they’ve banked off buying boooze!
they’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice
corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
we’re gonna have to kill
nno good jack and jill
their kids’re in the business tooo!
they’re draining all our banks
give em well deserved spanks
we’ve got to kill ol no good jack and jill
jack and jill netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaaake
what a blunder, there was no rubber, now
they’re a house of eeiiight
a bolt went off, they opened shop
to resell their porn and lean
it all went swell, but for us, well
we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL JACK AND JILL!
There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew and a black man on top of the Empire State Building. First the Mexican and the Jew throws there selves off of the building saying ‘ This is for my people’ Than the black is next up to jump and says ‘This is for my people’ And throws the White man off of the building.
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane Man next me said you know we’re going to New York right I told him I just wanna know what I got into
I told my mom do you want to see a magic trick she said yes. I said you are going to have hot dog and cream pie together. My mom said no I'm not, but I told my mom I'm going to need your assistance. First I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attach to me which she did, the next minute my mom has a cream pie over here face. Then I told my mom you see you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together. Then my mom said when you are you right you are right.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected"
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down she sits next to everyone
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
why is 10 afraid
because he next to 9 and 11
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
One day little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parent's bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing he said playing cards, Little Johnny said who is your partner? dad said his mom on his way up he passed by his sisters room and noticed sheets Bouncing around and asked what she’s doing she said playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul. Next day dad came to ask Johnny a questions The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing he said playing cards. His dad asked him who is his partner was little johnny said you don’t need a partner if you have a good hand
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next RHYME
Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?
He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says you’re next When we attend aFuneral, I say you’re next
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?" Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me." The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything." The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too."
you're dad is so fucking fat that when he bends over and comes back up its the next day
me: brings in missing child police: omg this kid has been missing for 3 months. here is your reward me: oh, cool
NEXT DAY
me: brings in 8 other kids
police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
