New Jokes - Page 495 - Worst Jokes Ever

Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?

A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

Shut your transparent hairline up.

I give these jokes a 9/11.

Why was six so scared of seven? Because seven ate nine.

My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.

What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.

What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.

Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.

What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"

My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.

Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?

It has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

I love fard 😋

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple always gets picked.

What do emos like to do when they're sad?

They play violin on their wrists.

What meme does an Emo hate the most?

"Happy Happy Joy Joy" Peter Griffin.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.