Worst Jokes Ever
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
10, being in the middle, tried to prevent 9/11 from getting closer.
Sorry, I meant 9 and 11.
My foot itches.
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
The baseball player has a home to run back to.
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"
The girl says, "Just like your face."
Your forehead is damn big, Walt was jealous of you.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... That is... if you throw it hard enough.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a few hours. Light him on fire, he'll be warm the rest of his life.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....