Worst Jokes Ever
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
What is Uranus' favorite exercise? ... Hy knees.
Your forehead is so leaned back you can see the dinosaurs.
What do you call a straight orphan?
A no homeo.
Q: Why can't you tell 9/11 jokes in a comedy club?
A: They always crash and burn.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?
Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
What do Nemo and Emily's dad have in common? They both can't be found.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
Wanna hear a joke?
Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')
What do you say to the orphan?
"Shut up, get a mom and dad!"
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.