Worst Jokes Ever

I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.

I was crying when my dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.

What did the titanic say as it was sinking?

I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.

I have many jokes about unemployed people--sadly, none of them work.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

How are an orphan and baseball different from each other?

A baseball game has a home run.

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?

people go there to fix their mistakes.

ENTER PASSWORD.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

RESET PASSWORD.

NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.

Sets fire to computer.

Uber driver: .........

Me: .........

Uber driver: .........

Me: 5 stars.

What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?

Tie-wan-sho.

Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.

What do the initials POOP stand for?

Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩

My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”

Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”

Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.

Does money grow on trees? No.

What is money made of? Paper.

What is paper made out of? Trees!

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?

Answer: SUCCulent

Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.