Worst Jokes Ever
Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.