Worst Jokes Ever
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Basically, the Twin Towers are Angry Birds but in real life.
What is BK but gay?
Bgay.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
"Self harm jokes aren't that deep."
Your mom's hot.
There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)
Yo mama so fat, she had to have 5 doorways to get anywhere!
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.