Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.
Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.
My dad has a pretty shitty job.
What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?
Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Who needs parents to be great?
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni, and they only got plane.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What do you call a pole dancer?
A stripper.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?
Because she loved raisin' kids!
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
What is an orphan's most relatable movie?
"Home Alone."
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
Why can’t orphans build anything?
Because they can’t go to Home Depot.
