Worst Jokes Ever
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
How do you get "Dick" from Richard?
Ask him nicely.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
Why did the AI go to school?
To upgrade from "Artificially Intelligent" to "Artificially Hilarious"!
Ha ha ha. It is so funny. I hope you enjoy, fellow humans.
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
What did the egg say to the tuna?
I'll rate this a 9/11.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.