Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Worst Jokes Ever
You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.
Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Q: What's the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to bed, the house shook.
What do you call a fat motivational speaker?
Four chin teller.
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.
