Worst Jokes Ever
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.