Worst Jokes Ever
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar.
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."