Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar.
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.