Worst Jokes Ever
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.