Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?