Worst Jokes Ever
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.