Worst Jokes Ever
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
I'm serious, what's a "dad?"
What is a "dad?"
"Herro, I cannot see my eyes."
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
I go balls deep in your mum with no power.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
What's Damo's favorite food?
Big slongs.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
Why can't a dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
Cameron and Pav.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.