Worst Jokes Ever
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
How do you poop?
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
The world's funniest joke? Your life.
Why is it called a building if it's already built?
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
How do you make Holy Water?
Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
Fucking Windows updates!
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."