I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
Worst Jokes Ever
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
What is flatter than an Asian?
Their nose.
What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?
"They see me rolling, they hatin'."
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be expect bagels.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Dick.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!