Worst Jokes Ever

Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?

A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.

Your Dad.

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don't get them!

Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.

Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?

Dave: No.

Jason: Well, he hit his first target.

Q: Why did the teacher die?

A: Because he hated his life.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉

All you need is a razor blade in life.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them. XD

What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.

You people are sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! None of these are funny. Sick sick sick!!!!!!!

What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?

Impossible!

Jakob's life.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!

What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.

Thor is so gay he farts the rainbow bridge to Asgard.

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?

And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.

This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"

"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"

Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."

A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.