Worst Jokes Ever
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
"Nahtzee"
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
Hey updog!
What's updog?
(Laughter)
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Aarghraawa."
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."