Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.
My friend had no school because of heavy snow.
Guess you could say it was a snow school day!
"Is Mrs. Wall here?"
"No."
"Is Mr. Wall here?"
"No."
"Then what is holding up the walls?"
Dark humor is like a child with cancer...
Never gets old.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What do you call a rich Chinese guy?
"Ching ching."
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
What do you call a fat Chinese guy?
A double chinkey.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!