Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
Wanna hear a joke?
Your outfit. Har har!
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
It's not my fault my cousin's hot ;) YEE YEE
I have two heads, four eyes, and six ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.