Worst Jokes Ever
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
What was Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
I couldn’t quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Deez nuts!
GOT EEMMMMMMMM!
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
Laugh.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."