Worst Jokes Ever
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
Why couldn't the clown walk after his infamous knife-juggling act?
Because he was exhausted nigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
Kasper has a tiny penis.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
Hello.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”