Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
These aren't funny.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
