Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a PC?
When my PC crashes, I actually give a fuck.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
priyanka
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by an ice cream truck.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
Pedophiles are really stupid and need to leave this earth.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
How many thumbs down can this joke get?
Joke: Runescape, mustard, tits, Pamela Anderson.
Pineapple goes on pizza.
Flat Earthers
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.
Thanks.
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
