Worst Jokes Ever

I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

I guess you can say he xxxpired.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to your house.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.

Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.

Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.

Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.

What do you call a dwarf with ESP that escaped a prison?

A small medium at large.

A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"

What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!

I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?

..... She had cancer.... ;)

Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.

Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.

Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.

Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

More than 9 because my basement is still dark.