Worst Jokes Ever
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
My dad came back!
What do you call a white girl at Starbucks?
At home.
Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.
The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.
Why did 1 eat 2?
'Cause he was hungry.
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
Dean's sex life.
Why is Donald Trump president?
So he can deport Mexicans to Mexico.
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Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
I wonder why the baseball was getting larger and larger, then it hit me.
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.