What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
Person you don't know, my name.
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
Karolien's life.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.
What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?
The finish line at the Boston marathon.
I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
