Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
Hi, my name is Crappy. I like tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and ya now GET LOST!
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
Sauron said, "Eye see all."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jerk.
Jerk who?
This website who!
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!
Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.