Worst Jokes Ever
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".
Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek?
Because he's always spotted.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
Who are you?
Yourself.
Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
What is black and white and red all over?
... a newspaper!
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”