Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
When pigs went to the desert, they turned into bacon.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!
These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.
Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!