Worst Jokes Ever
Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"
Dodo.
I am a motherfucker.
What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
Was Jesus a virgin? Of course not! He was nailed before he was killed.
What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?
A Krispy Kreme Mac.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
What do gay girls order in a bar?
Pussy juice.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.