Worst Jokes Ever
What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult, "I know the whole truth," they will be all weird. So he went home and told his mom, "I know the whole truth," and she gave him $20 and said to keep quiet.
Pleased, when his dad got home, he said, "I know the whole truth," and his dad gave him $40 and said, "Don't tell Mom." Really pleased, he met the mailman the next day and said, "I know the whole truth." Then the mailman got down on his knee, opened his arms, and said, "Come to daddy."
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
A blind man walks into a bar.
And a chair.
And a table.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"