Worst Jokes Ever
Who goes to a comedian show and gets offended?
A feminist.
During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!
Tate
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
- What do you call a bee who flew to United States? - "USB"
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?