Worst Jokes Ever
Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.
Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
I have a ton of work to do... A skele-TON.
My pen is so strong, ladies, come and get it!
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.