Worst Jokes Ever
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?
What do we call a gay Canadian?
Sophisticated cunt.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
Weenis long.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
I don't want to taco about myself.