Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?
This would be much better if you were alive.
Why don’t oysters give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish! 😂
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
Definition of trust: two cannibals having oral sex.
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.