Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?

They can both do dirty things.

What comes after 611? 711.

What comes after that? 811.

What comes after that? George W. Bush.

Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."

What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?

The feminist is overweight.

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  • Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."

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  • Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.

    Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.

    Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.

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    Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.

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