Worst Jokes Ever

"Why am I ugly?"

Google would like to operate your camera.

What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."

A starving homeless kid asks me for food.

I said, "sorry, my plate is full."

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

How is Stephen Hawking dead?

His Windows shit down.

I got a joke.

Allahu Akbar!

Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?

A: A couch potato. HaHaHa

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"

I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?

A: The honor roll.

What did the panther say at the poker party?

I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Your mom who?

O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!

Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.

oo----- ()

What is the difference between a dog and a cat?

I don't know either.

Why do you think I asked you? ;)

What's the POINT in stabbing people?

HAHAHA

What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?

You will have even more birthday parties to go to.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't ever find home.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She's retarded.