Worst Jokes Ever
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
Want to hear a joke, huh?
Me........
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, you wouldn't get it.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.
What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
Eating the wheelchair.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
What's a current's favorite juice?
Black "current"!
What do you call a white man surrounded by black men? Coach.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."