Worst Jokes Ever
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
Arsenal
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.
How do you shrivel a dick?
My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
Taja?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Hitler.
What is blue and wiggling on my floor?
A baby in a bag.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
What language do people at the center of the Earth speak?
Core-an (Korean)
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.