Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
Me and my receding hairline? Believe me, we go way back.
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.