Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
I have a ton of work to do... A skele-TON.
My pen is so strong, ladies, come and get it!
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"
You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?
Leg day.
Fuck all reading this.
I am looking for Mike Roch.