Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
Oh, hail no!!!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!