Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.
Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
Your head looks like a joke.
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.
Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
My family is like treasure. I need a map and shovel to find them.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not."
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
I fell down the stairs once.
Is it all right when there is nothing left?
AIDS?
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
Why do animals hate playing card games with foxes?
They’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Ur mom gay.