Worst Jokes Ever
Who is better than Alabama?
CLEMSON TIGERS!
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
It's punny.
My sexlife xddddddddd
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because there's too many jokes about Sally.
Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.