I know a lot of jokes, but I could learn a femor.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?
One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.
What's the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
Fortnite is good.
(Awesome joke, right?)
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
A ball hit me in the vagina.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
*Shrek* Bend ogre.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
