Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
Yo mama so fat even Dora can't explore it.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"
My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic and the other is a priest.
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.
It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A Sax-O-Bone.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Heh heh, get it? 69! Ha ahahaha!
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
