Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.

Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"

You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."

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  • A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."

    "Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.

    The boy answered, "It's Michelle."

    Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?

    Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!

    There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"

    The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."

    Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?

    His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.

    I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"