Worst Jokes Ever
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My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.
Once a knight was called a "kuhnigitt," that's because he was one!
Good night, boys.
I like goodies.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
Your mamma's so stinky that perfume leaks where she puts it on.
China is a place. I once went to Buckingham Palace.
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
The happier they get, the less they see.
Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
Why do cheetahs have spots? Chicken pox.
I like penguins.
I like this joke.
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
Yan nan ate my salty penis.