Worst Jokes Ever
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
Déjà Vat: the feeling that you’ve heard that bad joke before.
What is killing your friend called?
A homie-side.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What's black and white and red all over????? A zebra in a blender!
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
dsfjlkfsdajlk;adsf;lkjfsdlkjfdslkjfdsjlkfsdk;ljsgd;klsdafl;kjsadg.
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.