Worst Jokes Ever
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?
Still no idea. ๐
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
What's the difference between a priest and a zit?
A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.
Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0
Student: 69 gay = xxx
Teacher: You're out!!!
Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*
๐๐๐๐
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever ๐๐
I asked my new girlfriend how many men sheโd had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed sheโs holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said thatโs my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesnโt talk to him anymore because he had sex with the bossโs daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said thatโs the last time I use ancestry.com!
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.
Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The end.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!